**Please note that though these things may not be original and I may have been warned at no definite time before hand, they are completely original to me and my ego-sphere.
1.)If you are going to have a meaningless hookup (warning for sweet girls below about the difficultly of this) then know for sure that both of you will prevent all emotional attachment; both parties should interested in getting the same thing out of this escapade. Despite the fact that you might've known him since 1st grade (we did loose touch for 8 years or so, and then reconnected through facebook) this does not mean you know him or that you have a deeper connection than two random people in line at Moe's both ordering your cheese quesadilla the same way (light on the cheese, jalapenos on the side, extra pico de gio, no sour cream, no guac.)
**for the good girls, this is extremely hard, and believe me, feels grrrr8 at the time, hurts like hell when he tells you he can't have anything serious right now**
2.)Always ask Kate, the twin sister, to borrow an item before simply assuming she'd understand my desperation. This mistake has lead to many unnecessary tears, headaches, and many minor bodily injuries; i.e.scratches and bruises. AND do NOT assume, if your twin has borrowed something(s) from you without asking, that you are free to do the same to her. She will not understand that your items mean ask much to you as her items mean to her. It just doesn't compute.
3.)When traveling, do not keep your passport casually in your back pocket. Even you semi-quasi-intelligent young beings might do this for reasons unknown (laziness, perhaps). You would be extremely lucky to be as fortunate as I to notice only as the paper with the ratio of value similar to the key to ones soul is falling off a ricky, rusty barge-ish/faery into the Danube while in a post-communist, non-UN member, 3rd world country. Do not do this. Just don't.
4.)Do not try to walk on a foot that has fallen asleep. period.
5.)Wear sunscreen if you are going to be at the beach all day. And if you decide to disregard the previous statement, do not put scented/glittery lotion on the burns. Nothing is better than a bad something.
6.)If you are going to take a spontaneous road trip to surprise your boyfriend who lives 5 plus hours away make sure you and your friend have enough money for gas to make it all the way there.
7.) One that goes hand in hand with # 6, the truck detour route, though more scenic, is probably going to add an hour or two to the projected destination time.
8.)If you decide to go the nursing career route, know that nursing school is like playing russian roulette....or a better metaphor...running through a field full of land mines....if you made it though once, you'd be insane to run through again, and a third time...trisomy 21, and the fourth semester....brain dead. Just know, by the end of the third semester, death really doesn't seem thhat unpleasant.
9.)Having awesomely generous friends with ADD during finals week is extremely beneficial. In more ways than one.
10.)Do not attempt to tie dye without gloves. You will look like a mutant from X-Men (is it men or man?) for a week.
11.)You will eventually run into the person you are trying to avoid...
12.)There is no secrete to it, just eat less than the energy you expend. Repeat daily. Allow for indulgences now and again.
13.) "We are not the exception to the rule. We are the rule." - HJNTIY
14.) Music makes everything better. Put music to anything you're doing and the emotions you feel while doing it are 3x as strong.
15.)Don't forget to bring batteries.
16.)Travel light, you will thank yourself a few days in.
17.)In the words of a wise** (see footnote) man:
Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too
** Unfortunately he is disgustingly cocky. I'm not even a fan of this song, but I cant help that he is a lyrical genius, and one of the best guitar players of our time.
If you are gonna have kids, love 'em to pieces... never hit a child in anger.
18.)Don't take it personally. Just don't. People, no matter what, only know to look out for number one. Everyone will fail you, and you will fail everyone... just do your best and believe, despite this, in the good of humanity."I believe the heart of life is good."
19.)As an ex-manager taught me, "Had a bad day? Take it as one down. Sing a sad song, just to turn it around then make a funny face, and I guarantee your day will go better.
20.)Just do it. You've trained, you've prepared, now just go up to the line and the pain that comes in the next 18-20 minutes or so... let it be weakness leaving your body.
will add more to this list later....
